Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Reflection and Realization
So....hello. In a few weeks, it will be one year since I left my marriage and started my life completely over. So in thinking about that it brings me to thinking about everything I've been through and accomplished in the past year. A lil summary: left my marriage...had to move in with family...got stalked...left a profession I loved after 7 years...dropped over 60lbs...worked in retail (scary for me)...started a new career...made new friends...renewed old friendships...entered the world of dating...turned 37 but I feel 27! For me, one who resists change, went through a lot.
For the past two weeks I have felt really alone. I have been so down and have never felt so extremely alone. I started my own pity party and then yesterday everything began to come together. I was getting my hair done and talking to my stylist about this and my main point in the conversation was that I am ready to find my Mr. Right. People tell me that I need to give myself time and be on my own. Well, I have. I've done that. I did that for years before getting married and even though I got beat up a few times in the dating scene in the past 6 months, I have been on my own. I do like and love the person I am. I don't think a person is insecure or incomplete if they still feel like they want someone to share their life with. Just because I don't want to go out to eat by myself or have the desire to do activities by myself does not mean I am not ready for a relationship. So what if I don't do those things. That's not who I am.
I don't search for co-dependence but I do want to love and be loved by "The One". So in this conversation with my stylist, he said, "Cindie, this is the calm before the storm." And you know what? I think he is right. I am able to be happy and proud of who I am...so Mr. Right...don't be shy...come and find me!
Another incident that led me to this post was an email I received last night from another friend. It was a message that came out of the blue and as far as I know, he had no idea what perfect timing his message had. While protecting his identity, I want to share a little piece of what he wrote to me. "...Perhaps all of us have to go through hard times to find the right one but you keep looking and I am sure that you will find someone who will see you as the precious jewel that you are. Keep smiling and don't change a thing because you are perfect just the way you are and its the world that has a problem, not you..." It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me!
On top of the pity party I had been to for the last two weeks, I was putting in some pretty crazy hours at New Job and Tutoring Job. Today I finished up a 70 hour work week. That's just insane. I leave for my 9 day vacation a week from today and I am very much looking forward to getting out of So Cal for a while. A much needed breather!
I'm going to wrap this up...if you've taken the time to read this, thanks. I use this forum to get my thoughts down in writing and I always invite feedback. If you haven't read other posts, I do aspire to be a writer and some of my life experiences that I document will get to be a part of that. I mean, if I don't write it down, I might forget that it happened! LOL...the hazards of age! ;-)
Here's to a successful year of soul searching...thank you to everyone for your support along this journey! Cheers!
Love,
Cindie
For the past two weeks I have felt really alone. I have been so down and have never felt so extremely alone. I started my own pity party and then yesterday everything began to come together. I was getting my hair done and talking to my stylist about this and my main point in the conversation was that I am ready to find my Mr. Right. People tell me that I need to give myself time and be on my own. Well, I have. I've done that. I did that for years before getting married and even though I got beat up a few times in the dating scene in the past 6 months, I have been on my own. I do like and love the person I am. I don't think a person is insecure or incomplete if they still feel like they want someone to share their life with. Just because I don't want to go out to eat by myself or have the desire to do activities by myself does not mean I am not ready for a relationship. So what if I don't do those things. That's not who I am.
I don't search for co-dependence but I do want to love and be loved by "The One". So in this conversation with my stylist, he said, "Cindie, this is the calm before the storm." And you know what? I think he is right. I am able to be happy and proud of who I am...so Mr. Right...don't be shy...come and find me!
Another incident that led me to this post was an email I received last night from another friend. It was a message that came out of the blue and as far as I know, he had no idea what perfect timing his message had. While protecting his identity, I want to share a little piece of what he wrote to me. "...Perhaps all of us have to go through hard times to find the right one but you keep looking and I am sure that you will find someone who will see you as the precious jewel that you are. Keep smiling and don't change a thing because you are perfect just the way you are and its the world that has a problem, not you..." It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me!
On top of the pity party I had been to for the last two weeks, I was putting in some pretty crazy hours at New Job and Tutoring Job. Today I finished up a 70 hour work week. That's just insane. I leave for my 9 day vacation a week from today and I am very much looking forward to getting out of So Cal for a while. A much needed breather!
I'm going to wrap this up...if you've taken the time to read this, thanks. I use this forum to get my thoughts down in writing and I always invite feedback. If you haven't read other posts, I do aspire to be a writer and some of my life experiences that I document will get to be a part of that. I mean, if I don't write it down, I might forget that it happened! LOL...the hazards of age! ;-)
Here's to a successful year of soul searching...thank you to everyone for your support along this journey! Cheers!
Love,
Cindie
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Noooo!
sad. thought i had a friend in someone and found out i was wrong and got an "i'm just not that into you" email. kinda wondering when i will get the desires of my heart or how to stop being too nice and ending up a doormat. suggestions?
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