Couldda, Wouldda, Shouldda

Ok...before I get to rambling, I have to make a clarification. Apparently I worried a few folks when I said I got bad news yesterday after my doctor appointment. The two were unrelated. As far as I know, I do not have a life threatening illness. Some of you may beg to differ on that one! Ha! Ha!

Signs that my life is in a bit of disarray have surfaced in the last 24 hours, although I think they've been there all week, I've just now decided to look. The signs are: 1) my bedroom is a mess 2) there is a dirty cup in the sink that I put there 3) House is dusty and last but not least and maybe most significant, 4) I've eaten the equivalent of 1 meal in the past 3 days. Yesterday, I didn't eat a damn thing. I went into self-destruct mode and boy did I succeed at that! It was a little hard to put on my cheery face at work today, but Aimz and Cuz Orange D allowed me to whine to them when I was on my breaks.

My bad news yesterday: Well I'm not going to tell you because it is not something I want to share with the WWW (I'll save the real story for my movie) so I will try to explain via analogy.

I used to have experience in building fires. Sometimes I couldn't get them lit, others were great blazes and some burned for a long time. Now, it's been a very long time since I've built any fires. I thought I was ready to start building them again so I found myself building one earlier this week. Well, I thought I had it lit but found out yesterday that it was too windy and my fire blew out. But not without burning me first. And it hurt! I was so shocked by it that I tried and tried to keep it burning. Even after it burned me. I don't know why it hurt so much because I've been burned before and been okay. It is frustrating that this fire burned me. I wasn't even planning on building it. I think I tried to build a fire too soon. I should have waited for better weather and I should not have expected my first fire to burn well. Therefore, I'm out of the fire-building business for now.

Shouldda gone to the concert.
Wouldda waited to build a fire.
Couldda saved myself some grief.

Soooooooooooo glad the holidays and 2009 are over and I still hate all New Years Eves.

xoxo,
Cindie